Welcome to Jabroni’s

My summer restaurant pop up that may or may not exist

Okay. I know I said it’s music month on Bangers & Jams just last week. But sometimes a good idea takes hold and you can’t let it go.

Over plates of shiso fried rice and beef chow fun at Mission Chinese on Sunday, a friend and I tried to name the new cool restaurants in New York right now. There are the classics that can maintain a level of allure through their consistency. But we struggled to come up with a long list of recent knockout names, since the coolest restaurants have to remain underexposed, and restaurants are designed for overexposure. I think that’s why I keep gravitating to the same places. If the hot spots are always sloping towards torched status, then nothing can ever really beat Monkey Bar, Thai Diner or Estela.

I was out with some food industry folks a couple hours later, and the idea of dream restaurant concepts came up. My friend Andrew — pictured above, left, celebrating our beer pong table-running — and I quickly started riffing on Jabroni’s, a bar and grill that would start small before inevitably being franchised.

Like most of my favorite things, it began as a bit and has steadily become more and more real in my head. Jabroni’s will soft launch in an East Williamsburg backyard later this month. Maybe it will be one-day-only. Maybe it will be the next Shake Shack (Danny, hmu).

But with all that in mind, here’s our disorganized plan for this thing:

• Quarter sheet tray nachos — every chip is perfectly seasoned.

• A soft launch BYOO: Bring your own oysters. We’ll shuck them for you. Lemon only. And a hard launch seafood platter set (no mods).

• The only original drinks on the cocktail menu are a couple frozen specials. Otherwise, it’s just classics. Negronis, old fashioneds, martinis, you get it. Elevated cocktails have gotten terrible.

• A single-page wine list.

• The return of the Cool World fry platter.

• A front-of-house uniform that’s loosely jeans and Ts.

• A country-leaning playlist.

• No regular entrees, but occasional large format specials. The only two sections on the menu are listed as BANGERS and JAMS 😉. No more than 12 items on the menu total. Two specials per day. A well-paid pastry chef.

• High quality pens and hats. Otherwise, no other merch.

• A long bar, a few booths, some high tops. No outdoor seating.

• Always a Sicilian crudo and often fried shrimp heads. A couple fancy toasts. Multiple dips.

• A website that rips off Rochelle Canteen in its simplicity.

• Kitchen closes at 10pm. Never open on Sundays or Mondays.

• No grocery section (played out).

• No brunch. Never brunch.

• No phone number.

• Quality ingredients, but no farmers listed on the menus.

• No secret-but-not-really-secret menu items, but there is an open secret backgammon board (just ask). And a few PX-only items (don’t ask).

It’ll be fun and clearly not at all profitable. See ya next week for some music stuff. Here’s a little Jabroni’s mood board inspo.